Quotes by Mark Twain with heaven

Mark Twain

Mark Twain

American writer (ps. of Samuel Langhorne Clemens)

Lived from: 1835 - 1910

Category: Writers (Contemporary) Country: FlagUnited States

Born: 30 november 1835 Died: 21 april 1910

  • A lie can travel around the world and back again while the truth is lacing up its boots.
  • Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
  • Duties are not performed for duty's sake, but because their neglect would make the man uncomfortable. A man performs but one duty -the duty of contenting his spirit, the duty of making himself agreeable to himself.
  • Patriot : the person who can shout the loudest without knowing where he is crying about .
  • To do something, say something, see something, before anybody else - these are things that confer a pleasure compared with which other pleasures are tame and commonplace, other ecstasies cheap and trivial.
  • A banker is a fellow who lends his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
  • Get your facts first and then you can distort them as much as you wish.
  • Quitting smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
  • By common consent of all the nations and all the ages the most valuable thing in this world is the homage of men, whether deserved or undeserved.
  • The cross of the Legion of Honor has been conferred on me. However, few escape that distinction.
  • The Bible has noble poetry in it; and some clever fables; and some blood-drenched history; and a wealth of obscenity; and upwards of a thousand lies.
  • History is strewn thick with evidence that a truth is not hard to kill, but a lie, well told, is immortal.
  • To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler and less trouble.
  • The man who is ostentatious of his modesty is twin to the statue that wears a fig-leaf.
  • If He Tom Sawyer had been a great and wise philosopher, like the writer of this book, he would now have comprehended that Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do and Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.
  • The Pause; that impressive silence, that eloquent silence, that geometrically progressive silence which often achieves a desired effect where no combination of words, however so felicitous, could accomplish it.
  • Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: The one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it.
  • We never become really and genuinely our entire and honest selves until we are dead - and not then until we have been dead years and years. People ought to start dead and then they would be honest so much earlier.
  • There are two times in a man's life when he should not speculate: when he can't afford it, and when he can.
  • It is a time when one's spirit is subdued and sad, one knows not why; when the past seems a storm-swept desolation, life a vanity and a burden, and the future but a way to death.
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Quotes 1 till 5 of 5.

  • Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
    ― Mark Twain
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  • Heaven goes by favor; if it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
    ― Mark Twain
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  • I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
    ― Mark Twain
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  • The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
    ― Mark Twain
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  • There is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought - a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities!
    ― Mark Twain
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