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I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, ''Soup of the Day: Cream of Asparagus. Ellen DeGeneres.''
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My voice went recently, never happened before, off like a tap. I had to sit in silence for nine days, chalkboard around my neck. Like an old-school mime. Like a kid in the naughty corner. Like a Victorian mute.
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