Quotes 141 till 160 of 561.
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His lordship may compel us to be equal upstairs, but there will never be equality in the servants hall.
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His money is twice tainted: taint yours and taint mine.''
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History is strewn thick with evidence that a truth is not hard to kill, but a lie, well told, is immortal.
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How do I get to Carnegie Hall? Practice. Practice. Practice.
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How easy it is to make people believe a lie, and [how] hard it is to undo that work again!
Autobiography of Mark Twain (2013) 302 -
Humor is the greatest blessing of mankind.
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Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.
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I am a democrat only on principle, not by instinct - nobody is that. Doubtless some people say they are, but this world is grievously given to lying.
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I am an old man and have known a great many sorrows, but most of them never happened.
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I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.
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I believe that any man's life will be filled with constant and unexpected encouragement, if he makes up his mind to do his level best each day, and as nearly as possible reaching the high water mark of pure and useful living.
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I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey.
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I can live for two months on a good compliment.
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I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.
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I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious - except he purposely shut the eyes of his mind and keep them shut by force.
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I could have become a soldier if I had waited; I knew more about retreating than the man who invented retreating.
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I did not attend his funeral; but I wrote a nice letter saying I approved of it. [About a politician who had recently died]
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I do not like work even when someone else does it.
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I don't give a damn for man that can spell a word only one way.
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I don't know of a single foreign product that enters this country untaxed, except the answer to prayer.
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