Quotes 21 till 40 of 112.
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His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
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How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
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How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?
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I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
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I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.
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I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.
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I can’t listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.
Source: Manhattan Murder Mystery (1993) -
I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
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I don't believe in an after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
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I don't respond well to mellow, you know what I mean, I have a tendency to... if I get too mellow, I ripen and then rot.
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I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
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I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work ... I want to achieve it through not dying.
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I feel sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
Source: Standup Comic (1999) -
I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
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I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
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I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
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I think crime pays. The hours are good, you meet a lot of interesting people, you travel a lot.
Source: Take the Money and Run (1969) -
I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
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I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
All woody famous quotes and sayings you will always find on greatest-quotations.com (page 2)
