Quotes by Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey

English comedian, musician and actor

Lived from: 1965 -

Category: Music | Comedians | Movie

Born: 13 january 1965

Quotes 1 till 20 of 27.

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  • I tried to like it. For me, it was like being smacked around the head by a piece of IKEA furniture: it hurts, but you've got to admire the workmanship.
    Remarkable Guide to the Orchestra
    Bill Bailey
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  • Ah, lovely: the ripple, the ripple there. That's nearly the Zen clap of acceptance there, wasn't it?
    Part Troll
    Bill Bailey
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  • And the thing is, I'm amazed they went with Obama at all, you know, I mean, I thought Hilary would have been a shoe-in, but no. Apparently America's got an issue with gender, not with race. Huh. So, um...
    Dandelion Mind
    Bill Bailey
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  • Creationists mainly are Americans who think the world was created in 1982 to coincide with the rise of Super Tramp but you can very easily dispute this by playing some of Super Tramps earlier albums.
    Dandelion Mind
    Bill Bailey
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  • God save our gracious Queen: Why would we invoke a non-specific deity to bail out these unelected spongers?
    Part Troll
    Bill Bailey
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  • I was digging with a fork out of the kitchen drawer sewing tictacs, I didn't know what the hell I was doing. After a bit I got bored and just started burying cheap spoons to baffle the archaeologists of the future
    Dandelion Mind
    Bill Bailey
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  • I would never condone the burning of a Dan Brown novel, much though I loathe and detest his work. Well, I say work, you know, words, randomly arranged to form millions of dollars... I'm not bitter at all...
    Dandelion Mind
    Bill Bailey
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  • I'm English, and as such I crave disappointment. I actively seek it out.
    Part Troll
    Bill Bailey
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  • It's always been my long-held belief that eventually insects will take over the world.
    Remarkable Guide to the Orchestra
    Bill Bailey
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  • It's not a beard, it's an animal I've trained to sit very still.
    Bewilderness: New York (audio CD, 2002)
    Bill Bailey
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  • It's the augmented fourth, or diminished fifth, depending on your outlook on life...
    Tinselworm
    Bill Bailey
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  • It's what we've always known for many years outside of Australia...You can't have a world leader called Kevin.
    Dandelion Mind
    Bill Bailey
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  • Marijuana? It's harmless really, unless you fashion it into a club and beat somebody over the head with it.
    'Beards' (track 12) 5:29
    Bewilderness: New York (audio CD, 2002)
    Bill Bailey
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  • My first job was selling doors, door to door. That's a tough job isn't it? Bing Bong; Hello, can I interest you in a- oh shit you've got one already haven't you? Well never mind...
    Part Troll
    Bill Bailey
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  • Not a very well-known fact, but on planes they always carry a trombone just in case there's a disaster and they need to keep morale up. All cabin crew - fully proficient in the trombone. And of course there's a double facility: if you ditch at sea, it can be used as a snorkel.
    Remarkable Guide to the Orchestra
    Bill Bailey
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  • Or I get my navel fluff out and weave it into wigs so that fleas can act out Victorian melodramas
    Dandelion Mind
    Bill Bailey
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  • Orchestras have often been used to conjure up the natural world: Swans, sharks, trout, but not, as far as I know, the often maligned jellyfish.
    Remarkable Guide to the Orchestra
    Bill Bailey
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  • So go into your local branch of UBS, and say I'd like to open an account please., and when they say What with? take out a loud hailer and say NAZI GOLD! Just like you did!
    Tinselworm
    Bill Bailey
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  • There we go, that's it. I just hold my hand in this position for the next couple of hours.
    Remarkable Guide to the Orchestra
    Bill Bailey
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  • This is the news theme, but it sounds like pure Hollywood entertainment. It sounds like E.T. on a horse being chased by Darth Vader, which is something I'd love to see.
    Remarkable Guide to the Orchestra
    Bill Bailey
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All Bill Bailey famous quotes and sayings you will always find on greatest-quotations.com

Questions and Answers

What are the most famous quotes from Bill Bailey?

The two most famous quotes from Bill Bailey are:

  • "I tried to like it. For me, it was like being smacked around the head by a piece of IKEA furniture: it hurts, but you've got to admire the workmanship."
  • "Ah, lovely: the ripple, the ripple there. That's nearly the Zen clap of acceptance there, wasn't it?"

When did Bill Bailey live?

Bill Bailey is still alive and was born in 1965.