Quotes by Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck

American writer

Lived from: 1927 - 1996

Category: Writers (Contemporary) Country: FlagUnited States

Born: 21 february 1927 Died: 22 april 1996

Quotes 1 till 12 of 12.

  • Never accept a drink from a Urologist.
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  • It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
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  • Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
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  • Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It's literary suicide.
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  • I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: ''Checkout Time is 18 years.''
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  • It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows.
    ― Erma Bombeck
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  • My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
    ― Erma Bombeck
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  • Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
    ― Erma Bombeck
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  • Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
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  • The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
    ― Erma Bombeck
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  • When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say, ''I used everything you gave me.''.
    ― Erma Bombeck
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  • You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're merging into big conglomerates.
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