Quotes by Fran Lebowitz

Fran Lebowitz

Fran Lebowitz

American journalist

Lived from: 1950 -

Category: Comedians | Movie Country: FlagUnited States

Born: 27 october 1950

  • Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is an old business procedure.
  • Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.

Quotes 1 till 20 of 27.

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  • Life is something you do when you can't get to sleep.
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  • If you're going to America, bring your own food.
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  • All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.
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  • Any child who cannot do long division by himself does not deserve to smoke.
    Metropolitan life
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  • Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
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  • Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is merely a good excuse not to play football.
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  • Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is an old business procedure.
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  • Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won't feel like watching.
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  • Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
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  • Girls who put out are tramps. Girls who don't are ladies. This is, however, a rather archaic usage of the word. Should one of you boys happen upon a girl who doesn't put out, do not jump to the conclusion that you have found a lady. What you have probably found is a lesbian.
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  • How do you know if your child is a writer? Your obstetrician holds his stethoscope to your abdomen and only hears excuses.
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  • Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
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  • I must take issue with the term 'a mere child,' for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult.
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  • If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
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  • If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
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  • Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.
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  • Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.
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  • Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
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  • Should you be a teenager blessed with uncommon good looks, document this state of affairs by the taking of photographs. It is the only way anyone will ever believe you in years to come.
    Social Studies (1981)
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  • Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
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Questions and Answers

What are the most famous quotes from Fran Lebowitz?

The two most famous quotes from Fran Lebowitz are:

  • "Life is something you do when you can't get to sleep."
  • "If you're going to America, bring your own food."

When did Fran Lebowitz live?

Fran Lebowitz was born in 1950.