Quotes by Groucho Marx

Groucho Marx

Groucho Marx

American comic actor

Lived from: 1890 - 1977

Category: Movie Country: FlagUnited States

Born: 2 october 1890 Died: 19 august 1977

Quotes 21 till 40 of 57.

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  • I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along.
    ― Groucho Marx
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  • I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
    ― Groucho Marx
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  • I must say that I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a book.
    ― Groucho Marx
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  • I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
    ― Groucho Marx
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  • I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.
    ― Groucho Marx
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  • I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
    ― Groucho Marx
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  • I worked myself up from nothing to extreme poverty.
    ― Groucho Marx
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  • I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
    ― Groucho Marx
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  • I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
    ― Groucho Marx
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  • Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!
    ― Groucho Marx
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  • If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
    ― Groucho Marx
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  • In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.
    ― Groucho Marx
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  • It is better to have loft and lost than to never have loft at all.
    ― Groucho Marx
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  • Look at me. I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
    ― Groucho Marx
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  • Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
    ― Groucho Marx
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  • Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
    ― Groucho Marx
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  • No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
    ― Groucho Marx
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  • One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
    ― Groucho Marx
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  • One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.
    ― Groucho Marx
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  • Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men - the other 999 follow women.
    ― Groucho Marx
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