Quotes by W. C. Fields

W. C. Fields

W. C. Fields

American Actor

Lived from: 1880 - 1946

Category: Comedians | Movie Country: FlagUnited States

Born: 29 january 1880 Died: 25 december 1946

  • Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one.
  • There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
  • I always keep a supply of liquor handy in case I see a snake - which I also keep handy.

Quotes 1 till 20 of 32.

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  • My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?
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  • W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.
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  • A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
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  • All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
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  • Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
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  • I always keep a supply of liquor handy in case I see a snake - which I also keep handy.
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  • I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
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  • I drink therefore I am.
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  • I like children - fried.
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  • I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.
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  • I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
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  • I never met a kid I liked.
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  • I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.
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  • I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
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  • It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.
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  • Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.
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  • No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.
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  • Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
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  • Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
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  • Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
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Questions and Answers

What are the most famous quotes from W. C. Fields?

The two most famous quotes from W. C. Fields are:

  • "My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?"
  • "W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained."

When did W. C. Fields live?

W. C. Fields was born in 1880 and died in the year 1946.